Fasting, for many people, is a difficult and arduous thing. Fast Sunday...a day to "get through".
I beg to differ however and this is why...
After I went through the temple, and Todd was having such a hard time with my decision, I decided I would fast every single Sunday until things changed. And I did. I fasted every Sunday for about 7 months. At first it was difficult. I would dread them and barely get through. But as time went on, I learned much about my own spirituality, my tolerance and the power of fasting.
Each time I would fast, I swear something monumental would happen. Something that could not be explained just by coincidence or by the passage of time. Todd and I would have an enlightening conversation...he would confess he believed...he forgave me...our fights became discussions...love returned more quickly than anticipated... and all of these things may sound trite and inconsequential but they're not. If you were living my life, you'd understand that each and every occurrence was a miracle for me. And my testimony and spirituality grew leaps and bounds in those months. I felt so close to the Lord and his Will. It's as if it flowed through me and I walked on air.
About a year later, I happened to stop by a girlfriend's house who evidently was having a bad day. She was very frustrated about her child and his behaviors and didn't know what to do. I recommended that she spend a day and fast about the resolution. I told her how I felt about fasting and she said it was really hard for her but she might do it anyway. And she did. Later, she told me that she received an answer to her prayers from the fast and she was going to visit her pediatrician, which she did. Her pediatrician told her that she needed to be referred to an occupational therapist. And so she called me...because that's what I am! I saw her son, developed a treatment plan for him which she complied with very carefully and she reported back a few months later that he was doing great. This was the answer to her fast. I felt very humbled because not only did I counsel her to fast, I was able to help her in another way too.
I believe fasting can bring about miracles. I believe it can expedite the answers you need from your prayers. I believe that fasting can help you become closer to the Lord than you ever hoped to be. I believe it is one of the most wonderful tools that He has given to us.
I wrote this tonight because I had forgotten how much I loved it and I haven't been able to fast since I was pregnant and then nursing. But I'm finished nursing now and now can fast again. I am very excited because I have much to fast for.
If you are needing answers in a big way and feel that some extra effort is needed on your part, fast. Fast with your soul. Fast for 24 hours. Start and end with a prayer. Have a purpose to your fast and state it to the Lord. Pray often during your fast especially when you can't stop thinking about food. Read your scriptures and church magazines. These are the guidelines for fasting. He will respond...he covenanted with us that he would.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My Newest Calling
I got a new calling a couple of months ago but forgot to blog about it. We had a change in the presidency of the Young Women and I was kept in but shifted to the Personal Progress Specialist, a calling that will enable me to be much more one on one with the girls than the Secretary could be.
So far, I've been able to visit with most of the girls about where they are with their PP and our bishop has encouraged us to make good use of the summertime to get as much done as possible. I plan to host an activity that will enable some girls to pass off one of their Value experiences, or at least part of it. I have yet to think of the right thing.
I'm also in charge of Young Women in Excellence in November. If anyone has any great ideas for this, I'm open to anything. It is my first experience with this program since I was a Young Woman myself and I never finished my PP anyway. I think I'll finish it when my daughters go through the program.
In my interviews with the girls, I've come across a couple of lost souls, so to speak. Both get themselves in a lot of trouble and I am doing my best to be available to them and help them through these rough times.
One girl in particular I've tried to take in under my wing. She's been in a lot of legal trouble and also thinks currently that she might be pregnant. I can relate to this girl in many ways. Although her difficulties far out-spanned the ones I caused for myself, I can still understand her feelings of being misunderstood, lonely, confused etc. I've had her over to my house making jewelry, hanging out, going for drives, and generally trying to be a friend. But not the kind of friends she's used to. Her friends get her into bad situations like robbing homes and stuff like that. I, on the other hand try to just listen to her, not judge her and give her gentle guidance. She's asked me to help her break the news to her parents if she finds out that she really is pregnant. I took her to the store and bought her some pregnancy tests because she was afraid to ask her mom to. I know her mom would be grateful that I did this if she knew but I won't tell her yet. I think that it is up to this girl to be honest with her mother. Her mom does like me a lot and thanks me frequently for doing what I can. Honestly, I'm just grateful that I can give back to girl that was like me (remember my letter to my Young Women's leader?) I want to be that leader that really makes a difference and with this girl, I might just do that. Hopefully the Lord will help me know what I need to do to make the most difference.
So far, I've been able to visit with most of the girls about where they are with their PP and our bishop has encouraged us to make good use of the summertime to get as much done as possible. I plan to host an activity that will enable some girls to pass off one of their Value experiences, or at least part of it. I have yet to think of the right thing.
I'm also in charge of Young Women in Excellence in November. If anyone has any great ideas for this, I'm open to anything. It is my first experience with this program since I was a Young Woman myself and I never finished my PP anyway. I think I'll finish it when my daughters go through the program.
In my interviews with the girls, I've come across a couple of lost souls, so to speak. Both get themselves in a lot of trouble and I am doing my best to be available to them and help them through these rough times.
One girl in particular I've tried to take in under my wing. She's been in a lot of legal trouble and also thinks currently that she might be pregnant. I can relate to this girl in many ways. Although her difficulties far out-spanned the ones I caused for myself, I can still understand her feelings of being misunderstood, lonely, confused etc. I've had her over to my house making jewelry, hanging out, going for drives, and generally trying to be a friend. But not the kind of friends she's used to. Her friends get her into bad situations like robbing homes and stuff like that. I, on the other hand try to just listen to her, not judge her and give her gentle guidance. She's asked me to help her break the news to her parents if she finds out that she really is pregnant. I took her to the store and bought her some pregnancy tests because she was afraid to ask her mom to. I know her mom would be grateful that I did this if she knew but I won't tell her yet. I think that it is up to this girl to be honest with her mother. Her mom does like me a lot and thanks me frequently for doing what I can. Honestly, I'm just grateful that I can give back to girl that was like me (remember my letter to my Young Women's leader?) I want to be that leader that really makes a difference and with this girl, I might just do that. Hopefully the Lord will help me know what I need to do to make the most difference.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Temple Recommend Interview
Wow! Time has passed so quickly! I had to get my temple recommend re-instated for the first time already. Has it really already been 2 years? That's insane!
My sister-in-law is going through the temple on Saturday for the first time and I am so proud of her. It's been a long time in the making and I've encouraged her many times to go even if her husband wasn't ready. And she knows I speak from experience! I'm so honored that she invited me to go with her! I'm not her escort but still - that's very nice. I didn't invite ANYONE to go with me the first time. It was too nerve-wracking.
Anyway, when my recommend expired at the end of December, I had the bishop issue me another one but never had the stake president sign it and wasn't too worried about it because I knew with an infant, that my chances of getting to the temple in the first 6 months were pretty nil. But this new development necessitated that I get it signed...pronto!
So I sat in the stake president's office again tonight and went through the interview. I cringed over some questions and figure that if I don't feel an element of guilt during that interview over some of the questions then I am not being humble enough. That's alright. I can deal with that.
However, for the fourth time during a temple recommend interview (with bishops and stake presidents, etc.) I've had to explain my battle with decaf! Oh my gosh people! I LOVE COFFEE okay? I've given up the caffeinated stuff but decaf has been just so hard. When I am really feeling picked upon or extra cold or just need a treat, I get a decaf latte at the drive-through coffee shop - and I absolutely RELISH it. It's far better to me than any dessert I could possibly have. Isn't that stupid?
And for the fourth time, I've had them tell me that I need to just stay away from it. Easier said than done, I say! This time though, my stake president said, "you should avoid it - the price is just too high!" I was intrigued by what he said. "the price is just too high". It's true. I asked him what the deal was with decaf and why some people say it's okay. He said of course it's between me and the Lord, and where I'm at in my spiritual progress but that the Word of Wisdom is an obedience law - not necessarily a health law although he can't be entirely sure that tea and coffee aren't bad for our health on a large scale. Anyway, he said it's just better to be obedient than to have to pay the price later.
I'm tired of having to have this discussion time after time over a stupid drink. I'm going to make it a priority that in my next temple interview, I will not have to bring it up again. It's not like there aren't alternatives.
I also felt mildly bad about my "addiction" which is actually not coffee. But, I am dealing with it a day at a time and it's going well I think. Satan definitely has his claws in me on this one but I can tell you...I'm going to win :).
Ciao.
My sister-in-law is going through the temple on Saturday for the first time and I am so proud of her. It's been a long time in the making and I've encouraged her many times to go even if her husband wasn't ready. And she knows I speak from experience! I'm so honored that she invited me to go with her! I'm not her escort but still - that's very nice. I didn't invite ANYONE to go with me the first time. It was too nerve-wracking.
Anyway, when my recommend expired at the end of December, I had the bishop issue me another one but never had the stake president sign it and wasn't too worried about it because I knew with an infant, that my chances of getting to the temple in the first 6 months were pretty nil. But this new development necessitated that I get it signed...pronto!
So I sat in the stake president's office again tonight and went through the interview. I cringed over some questions and figure that if I don't feel an element of guilt during that interview over some of the questions then I am not being humble enough. That's alright. I can deal with that.
However, for the fourth time during a temple recommend interview (with bishops and stake presidents, etc.) I've had to explain my battle with decaf! Oh my gosh people! I LOVE COFFEE okay? I've given up the caffeinated stuff but decaf has been just so hard. When I am really feeling picked upon or extra cold or just need a treat, I get a decaf latte at the drive-through coffee shop - and I absolutely RELISH it. It's far better to me than any dessert I could possibly have. Isn't that stupid?
And for the fourth time, I've had them tell me that I need to just stay away from it. Easier said than done, I say! This time though, my stake president said, "you should avoid it - the price is just too high!" I was intrigued by what he said. "the price is just too high". It's true. I asked him what the deal was with decaf and why some people say it's okay. He said of course it's between me and the Lord, and where I'm at in my spiritual progress but that the Word of Wisdom is an obedience law - not necessarily a health law although he can't be entirely sure that tea and coffee aren't bad for our health on a large scale. Anyway, he said it's just better to be obedient than to have to pay the price later.
I'm tired of having to have this discussion time after time over a stupid drink. I'm going to make it a priority that in my next temple interview, I will not have to bring it up again. It's not like there aren't alternatives.
I also felt mildly bad about my "addiction" which is actually not coffee. But, I am dealing with it a day at a time and it's going well I think. Satan definitely has his claws in me on this one but I can tell you...I'm going to win :).
Ciao.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Family Home Evening
I've felt prompted so much lately to have a consistent FHE with my daughter. She's only four but I can understand why the prompting is there when I have the lessons with her. She's at such a wonderful age and loves all of the cheesy activities I concoct and loves to learn so much! I can just see her little sponge brain sucking up all of the things I'm telling her and I know it's getting through. I know that I am contributing to a large extent to her foundation of knowledge and hope that I can continue teaching her while this stage is still here. I know this is where the testimony starts - at this age and I'm doing my part to help establish that. I'm so grateful that the prophets have instructed us to have FHE because I really feel like I'm doing something that will really benefit her.
Did you realize how many great FHE resource web-sites there are out there? Just doing a very cursory search brought up so many hits with lessons practically planned for you - all you need to do is personalize them and add a snack to them. They're great!
Did you realize how many great FHE resource web-sites there are out there? Just doing a very cursory search brought up so many hits with lessons practically planned for you - all you need to do is personalize them and add a snack to them. They're great!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Great Message
Our bulletin announcement had a great message in it today at church and I thought I'd share it since it's been something that's been on my mind a lot lately as I contemplate what my purpose here on earth is and what I really hope to accomplish.
It centered on President Gordon B Hinckley's counsel to teach our children. He named seven things specifically that we need to be teaching them and I was glad to have a short list of things that I can focus on since the list of things that are available to teach is never-ending.
Anyway it said that once you are old and graying and begin reflecting back upon your life, likely your primary thoughts will be, "How have my children turned out?" And, if you have done your best to teach them these seven principles, then likely the answer will be, "very well".
1. teach them to seek for good friends
2. teach them to value education
3. teach them to respect their bodies
4. teach them to avoid illegal drugs as they would the plague
5. teach them to be honest
6. teach them to be virtuous
7. teach them to pray
In summary, teach them the gospel. If only the world as a whole would teach their children these things - I wonder what kind of a world we would live in.
It centered on President Gordon B Hinckley's counsel to teach our children. He named seven things specifically that we need to be teaching them and I was glad to have a short list of things that I can focus on since the list of things that are available to teach is never-ending.
Anyway it said that once you are old and graying and begin reflecting back upon your life, likely your primary thoughts will be, "How have my children turned out?" And, if you have done your best to teach them these seven principles, then likely the answer will be, "very well".
1. teach them to seek for good friends
2. teach them to value education
3. teach them to respect their bodies
4. teach them to avoid illegal drugs as they would the plague
5. teach them to be honest
6. teach them to be virtuous
7. teach them to pray
In summary, teach them the gospel. If only the world as a whole would teach their children these things - I wonder what kind of a world we would live in.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I'm Here, I'm Alive - Here's What's Up
I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. I'm still pregnant and plan to deliver February 18th via a scheduled C-section. My pregnancy has gone by quickly although it's been hard on my body. Nothing hugely monumental but I'm such a baby about things that the aches and pains have dominated me. That and I've been SO fatigued it's ridiculous. I've really gone into hermit mode whether it be from sheer exhaustion or depression - I haven't decided yet. Depression because it seems that I can't get control of anything I used to have so much control over. So many things are slipping and it's all I can do to keep up the basic necessities of my family.
On a religious front, I'm still doing my best. I'll tell you what - I've had sort of a hard time. Basic building blocks of our religion are really not much problem for me. I struggle with an occasional decaf latte because they are just so darn good but that's really may main transgression...if you don't count my "addiction" which shall remain un-named and that's because no one really likes to name their sins, right?
Let me tell you about it though - in vague terms. I've had this addiction for a long time and never really worried much about it until I started going back to church when I was able to kick it for a good amount of time. It was a terrible temptation though! And I struggled so much with it but had great confidence in my ability to withstand it. But over the past year, it has crept back into my life and I find my resolve to be diminished to a great extent! I resist taking to anyone about it because I don't want to admit my addiction, nor my human frailty - too much pride? Yeah, I think so. But I know that my addiction isn't something that would get me disciplined for so why go there other than to spill my guts in a big embarrassing and emotional scene.
There's a book put written specifically for LDS addicts. It's based on the 10-step AAA method for alcoholics. I have it and have been reading it periodically but have decided I need to put it into action in a big way. The problem is that I feel very spiritual most of the time, like I'm really on the right track. Sure, I fail to pray and read my scriptures as regularly as I should sometimes but all in all, I'm doing fairly well. But each time I succumb to this addiction and to the temptation (which is almost worse than succumbing to the actual addiction), I feel like I have to start all over. It's tearing me up! I don't know how I can be forgiven for small and slight offences when I am engaging in self-destructive addictive behaviors regularly!
Now don't get your minds going. It's really not as bad as you might think. It's a small thing that just taints my spirit and I know it's not right. Please pray for me as I struggle through this. I hope that I can overcome myself and with the Lord's help I can. I know I just need to make more of an effort.
p.s. thank you for all of your kind emails and notes of concern about where I am. I really appreciate them. i hope that i become myself again soon. :) Oh, by the way - I'm having another girl.
On a religious front, I'm still doing my best. I'll tell you what - I've had sort of a hard time. Basic building blocks of our religion are really not much problem for me. I struggle with an occasional decaf latte because they are just so darn good but that's really may main transgression...if you don't count my "addiction" which shall remain un-named and that's because no one really likes to name their sins, right?
Let me tell you about it though - in vague terms. I've had this addiction for a long time and never really worried much about it until I started going back to church when I was able to kick it for a good amount of time. It was a terrible temptation though! And I struggled so much with it but had great confidence in my ability to withstand it. But over the past year, it has crept back into my life and I find my resolve to be diminished to a great extent! I resist taking to anyone about it because I don't want to admit my addiction, nor my human frailty - too much pride? Yeah, I think so. But I know that my addiction isn't something that would get me disciplined for so why go there other than to spill my guts in a big embarrassing and emotional scene.
There's a book put written specifically for LDS addicts. It's based on the 10-step AAA method for alcoholics. I have it and have been reading it periodically but have decided I need to put it into action in a big way. The problem is that I feel very spiritual most of the time, like I'm really on the right track. Sure, I fail to pray and read my scriptures as regularly as I should sometimes but all in all, I'm doing fairly well. But each time I succumb to this addiction and to the temptation (which is almost worse than succumbing to the actual addiction), I feel like I have to start all over. It's tearing me up! I don't know how I can be forgiven for small and slight offences when I am engaging in self-destructive addictive behaviors regularly!
Now don't get your minds going. It's really not as bad as you might think. It's a small thing that just taints my spirit and I know it's not right. Please pray for me as I struggle through this. I hope that I can overcome myself and with the Lord's help I can. I know I just need to make more of an effort.
p.s. thank you for all of your kind emails and notes of concern about where I am. I really appreciate them. i hope that i become myself again soon. :) Oh, by the way - I'm having another girl.
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