I noticed that my last post was at 6:45 on Monday. What's funny is that I should have waited and made that post the next day because of what happened even a little later that evening.
We got Nat put to bed and I went back in my office to tidy up and do some filing. All the sudden, here comes Todd into my office and he stands there in the doorway. I figured he was there to put his phone on the charger or something but instead he took my hand and took me into the bedroom. I was so confused and a little nervous. I told him I had my garments on and he said he didn't care.
When it was over, we laid there and he cried and told me how sorry he was for being so hard-headed and stubborn. He said that all I'd said last night made good sense to him and he hadn' felt so happy in several months. He said he'd do his best to try to put all this behind us and that he'd try hard to be a better husband. It touched so so much.
Of course I am realistic. I know that Todd was under the pressure of divorce when he changed his mind. I hated doing that but at least it got us over the steepest part of the mountain. I doubt that Todd will be able to keep all of the promises he made, but I do think he'll try. Things won't be perfect but at least he's my husband again, and that's what I really wanted mostly.
The Lord has provided me a miracle when I was starting to doubt my ability to be blessed wtih more. My faith was diminishing a little bit and then he gave me what I wanted the most.
What I've learned from this is that the Lord is absolutely capable of all things. And if I want my family to be joined together in following the Lord because it will bring us closer together, then if I sacrifice enough, and demonstrate my love and faith to him enough, he will eventually give me what he feels I need. This is a righteous desire. The timing may not be appropriate right now. I still have much to atone for but the time will come when I believe the Lord will feel it proper for my family to receive this blessing. And until this happens, I will continue fasting each Sunday to earn it.
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A little history...
I'm writing this post as an accounting of my re-conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was raised and baptized into this church as a young girl but decided to leave and become "inactive" when I was 17. I married twice and in my latest marriage, have a little girl who is now 4 1/2. I've always known I was spiritual and that God would become important again at some point in my life. It did, when I became a mother. Three years ago, I started going to church again and I have felt loved, supported, forgiven and a million other emotions since then. Unfortunately, I do this alone. My husband, also raised in this church, has decided to remain inactive. It has put a rift in our marriage as it is a very family oriented church. He has been very antagonistic and makes it difficult for me to be a member. I do my best to take my daughter with me when I go. Although my entries don't start until this about a year ago, my re-conversion is still occurring and will be for many years as I learn more about my Savior, Jesus Christ and about the great sacrifice he made for me, and you, in Gethsemane, and on the cross at Calvary. To fully understand all that I've been through, you may feel inclined to start from the beginning post. If this is something you are also going through, I would like to hear from you. We need to stick together, form a network of faith and support. God hears our prayers, but we can be of support to each other as well.
I believe that Jesus lives, that he loves each of us and suffered our sins so that we could overcome Satan and live in his glory for eternity with our families.
I believe that Jesus lives, that he loves each of us and suffered our sins so that we could overcome Satan and live in his glory for eternity with our families.
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