After receiving a comment on my last post regarding discussing my "decision" with my bishop, I scheduled an appointment and spoke with him today.
I gave him all of the history, although he has most of it, and my thought process of how I came to my decision. I mentioned the blessings I receive each time I feel I just can't continue.
I just wanted to let you all know that he plans to pray about it and he'll get back with me. He says that my logic is good and that it sounds like a righteous decision. I was comforted by that even if I really wish someone would tell me..."JUST THINK ABOUT YOURSELF" even if it isn't the right thing in this situation.
On another note, today was Ward Conference and our Stake President was there to do a talk. He's the same one who, during my temple recommend interview, cautioned me with a smile to "stay away from de-caf". This, after asking whether I drink coffee, my daughter (who I had to bring with me) pipes up in her 2 year-old voice and said, "she drinks coffee!" I have a cup of de-caf every now and then. But lately, it's been like every other day instead. I DO love a latte on a cold morning, and we've had more than our share of snow lately. To get to it though, whenever I see him, I just remember those, of all words and the guilt just starts eating at me! It was then that I realized just how much I've been drinking which leads me to how many nights I've gone without an evening prayer.
My point is that it's so easy to lose focus. It's the whole "clinging" vs. "holding" onto the iron rod thing again. Am I a "clinger"?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Clinging from time to time is okay. There's a time and a place.
Heavenly Father looks on our hearts and our desires. Just keep plodding along. It's okay if some days you don't get very far in your goals - it's the over all improvement that counts.
On drinking de-caf. It's probably the same as drinking tea. As my parents always said, people aren't going to care if it's de-caf coffee or regular coffee. All they will see is coffee, and many already know that drinking coffee is something Mormon's don't do. So it's the appearance. (I would also imagine it's easier to slip back to caffienated coffee if one still drinks de-caf.)
Hot Chocolate is lovely on a cold day too!
Anyway, I wanted to stop by and cheer you on.
Just the sound of your blog makes me think you are not only a clinger, but I can see your arms and legs are wrapped around the rod of iron and you are hanging on and shimmying up to Heavenly Father. Keep on - I think you are doing great! Way to counsel with the Lord and your priesthood leader! way to go when you assess your life and try to steer it in the right way! You may drink de-caf, but it looks like you are trying. growing and changing. I sometimes gossip and I am trying to get that in check too. If the requirement to be a latter day saint was perfection, well the church would be pretty empty. In the church I heard someone say "thee lift me and I'll lift thee, and together we'll ascend.." I loved the worldwide broadcast we just had that talked of love and marriage, Wonderful insight. Hope you saw it.
I read this article http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695252833,00.html
I really liked it.
I love your blog! It's great to hear someone talk about their life when it's not perfect. I think people can identify with that.
I just started a blog too...
www.normalmormons.com
April
Post a Comment