My oldest sister, who is also my best friend, has never wavered in her faith. In fact, as I've mentioned in previous posts, she is one of the major reasons I've re-converted. Plus, she's been my biggest supporter.
Just the other day, she mentioned to me that her spirituality has been waning lately because she knows she's not been doing the things consistently that enable her to have the spirit with her all of the time. I asked her what she meant, thinking it would be something like not thinking of others as much, not being as charitable or not preparing adequatetly for the sacrament. These things, to me, are above my radar at this point as I'm still working on the fundamentals and basics; that's my opinion anyway. Not like I don't try to be charitable and all, I just don't use it as a guage for my spirituality.
You know what she said? She said she hadn't been reading her scriptures or praying every day. She said it just like that. And you could have knocked me over with a feather!
If someone of her spiritual depth- there's no other way to put it, is having difficulty with what I consider to be the very fundamental cornerstones of having a relationship with God, then well...I should really be less hard on myself!
I sit in church sometimes and look around at all the people that are there, thinking that surely lifetime members such as these, with such religious ferver must absolutely be at least reading scriptures and saying prayers daily. I never dreamed that it wouldn't be the case - or that might be a challenging area for even devout members.
I was humbled too. If someone like my sister struggles with the same things that I struggle with, then maybe I've got less work to do than I thought to be close to God. Perhaps I'm not as far back on the path as I thought I was. And perhaps I can muddle through a little bit longer.
It's sad but her challenges brought great hope to me.
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4 comments:
My parents always told me what matters is that you try your best. And President Hinckley said it too, that you do your best, and make sure it's your best.
By your journaling you are doing your best. It's hard when husband's aren't on the same page. Like I've said previously, I totally admire you for your courage, faith and determination.
I've been enjoying reading several of the LDS blogs tonight, including yours. Your sister's honesty shows me that even the most devout Saints have to keep it up everyday. By "keep it up" I mean communicate with our Heavenly Father. When we read the Scriptures, we're reading the divine text, and when we pray, we're talking to Him. Either means of communication is good, but using both are GREAT as far as staying in touch with our spiritual side.
We are always much harder on ourselves than anyone else, and even God Himself -- ever would be.
Don't use others as a benchmark for yourself.
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