There's no doubt about it. I've struggled with my spirituality lately. Partly it's because of my pregnancy which has been difficult thus far. I feel sapped of energy so much of the time that there's not much in reserve for extra things. I know this isn't the way I should be looking at my relationship with the Lord so I am doing what I can to turn it around.
I went to the temple about 2 weeks ago and it was such a great experience. I felt so great sitting in the Celestrial room after the session and for the first real time, I was totally at peace there and couldn't imagine where else I could be so content at that particular time. I could use that more on a regular basis.
I've decided that to enable a more increased relationship with the Lord, I'm going to change my reading habits. There are so many amazing religious books available but I'm so obsessed with spending my time reading novels that there's no time to read anything else. So I am going to read a religious book every other book and a requirement will be to finish the book. I start lots of them but never finish one. Right now I'm reading Joseph and Emma, a sort of biography of their life and I am impressed with it. I'm enjoying it very much!
I have lots of growth to be made in plenty of other areas so one thing at a time. I know the Lord has patience with me as long as I'm doing something to move forward in faith. That's definitely easing my mind a little bit.
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3 comments:
Hang in there! I've been exactly where you are, except my hubby wasn't a member until 6 years ago. Unfortunately he joined the church for the wrong reasons and now doesn't think he even believes anything. I had to stop reading novels too. I decided life was too short to read anything frivolous. Surprise, I found there were more LDS books I wanted to read, than I could possibly ever read (or buy). Luckily, my library has a lot of them or might order them for me.
hang in there and do your best. You're NOT alone.
Congrats on the new baby! Don't worry about feeling less spiritual when you aren't feeling 100% physically. I've had 4 difficult pregnancies and I know it's hard to always feel "up" with little ones. Sometimes I'd wonder why I even went to church, I spent all my time in the mother's lounge. Keep on keeping on and it will pay off. My most difficult toddler is now a 17 year old priest we are so grateful for. Email me if you could use more encouragement! You are not alone!
worthless mormon
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