Little Funk

Haven't posted anything for a while mainly because I'm in a little slump.

When I was a new convert, so many blessings were flooding into my life, and I was working hard to be diligent and the sacrifices and changes I was making were causing my focus to go upward. Lately however, I have less conflict in my marriage (much less), and my old habits are starting to form. Not things like coffee or beer or anything like that. Just more subtle things like my selfishness, not praying like I was, having to really nudge myself to read my scriptures each day. Things like that.

I still am going to church each Sunday and without that, I'd stagnate, for sure. It really is my lifeline right now. It's what keeps me motivated, and I'm sure it was designed to be that way. I have started to read an autobiography of one of my great-great-great-great grandfathers, John Lowe Butler. He happened to be one of Joseph Smith's bodyguards and was a sort of Porter Rockwell type. I am hoping that when I'm able to see the sacrifices that he and his family made, it will inspire me to be more faithful.

Regardless of all I'm currently going through, I still do have a strong testimony of this gospel and I don't think that will ever change. I think I'm going through what is probably a very common ebb & flow. I hope that it will soon pass and I will be on the upswing as that is a far more desirable feeling than this one of not feeling like I'm doing all of the right things.